Friday 30 September 2016

Beautiful Disguise


In the silence that followed Megan wondered again about the cat who Andy had released all of those years ago.  She wondered if he even remembered it anymore, or if he had moved on from those memories, too.  But she didn't ask. She only stood there, waiting, until he said, “So, anyway, I just wanted to stop by, because I’ll be heading off to Chicago tomorrow.”

“Does that you mean you’ve made a decision about your job?”

“I talked to my boss when he was here.  We've everything worked out.”

“That’s great,” Meg said, and smiled at him.  “Well, good luck.”

“Thanks.  And, Megan—it was good to see you again.”

“You, too.”

After a brief hesitation Andy turned toward the door.  Before he reached it, he said to the wall, “So I guess you’re going to hate me forever, then."

“Oh, no.  Not at all.”

“You sure?”

“I’m sure.”

“You’ll let me know if you ever need something?”

“Definitely.”

“Good,” he answered.  And without another word he left the hotel room.

Sanctuary


oh yes     I know how to sleep
I close my eyes     the colors of make believe
and dream and dream and dream
just dream and dream and dream…

            

A Slow Twisting Place, Chapter 27

Chapter Twenty-Seven of A Slow Twisting Place is now available to read!  This is one of my favorites, so I hope you enjoy it too.  Sorry for leaving it on such a cliffhanger, though!

Chapter 27

Or catch up with Chapters 1-26 by following the same link.  A good way to pass the weekend!


Thursday 29 September 2016

Lost


Forgive me this arrogance 
this undeniable conceit
Too foolish to understand
what surrender would mean

Beginnings



At Walgreen's Andy saw her standing in front of the magazine stand, reading a Tiger Beat.  “I’ll catch up to you in a couple of minutes,” he told his friends.  He then casually strolled over to where she was and reached for a Sports Illustrated.

When the girl noticed him she flushed, like she had been caught doing something naughty.  From how she quickly stuffed the Tiger Beat back into the magazine stand Andy had a feeling she was going to bolt again, so he smiled and said to her, “Hi!  My name is Andy.  I think I live across the street from you.  You’re the Schuler’s niece, aren’t you?”

The girl nodded.

“What’s your name?”

“Megan.”

Andy had expected a tiny, squeaky voice to go with her whole mouse-like demeanor.  That would have made more sense, anyway, than the quiet but firm voice she answered him with.  Fascinated, Andy waited for her to continue.  When she didn't, he asked her, “What grade are you in?”

“Seventh.  I mean, I will be in August.”

“Hey, that’s cool.  I’ll be in eighth.  I can show you around.”

“Great,” Megan said, although Andy wasn’t quite sure she meant it.  She took a step back.  “Well, I have to get going,” she told him.  “It was nice meeting you.”

“Yeah, you, too.  Maybe I’ll come over sometime this week.  I can take you on a tour.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind.  I’ll just stop over, okay?”

“Okay,” Megan answered, and looking a bit hunted, she disappeared around the corner.

A Slow Twisting Place, Chapter 26

Chapter Twenty-Six of A Slow Twisting Place now available to read!  Just follow this link:

Chapter 26

You can access Chapters 1-25 via the same link, and under the heading "Blog Archive" found on the main page.


Wednesday 28 September 2016

Waiting




Whisper it to me while no one is listening
tell me I am a fool
tell me I am not
tell me something that makes sense
and then prove it


A Slow Twisting Place, Chapters 24 & 25

Chapters Twenty-Four and Twenty-Five of my free serialized epic A Slow Twisting Place is now available to read!  Just follow this link:

Chapter 24 & Chapter 25

You can use the same link to read Chapters 1-23; they are all listed under the Blog Archive.  The storyline is about to blow up so have fun!


Disappointed


I was one fear closer to here
lost in a night too dark for sleeping
was it me on the ledge        or was it you
whispering
                                                                                                                            
                        do not give up too soon
do not give up
too soon               
                                                                                                                                                               when I am breaking           

I am a fool

where do I stand

I am a piece of stone mixed in
with all this sand
                                                                
yet full of proof
of what died         with you
                               
                why did you bring me here to my cyclone second
when rage engulfs this bridge from earth to heaven                    
cinder through and through                                                                                                                                                                                         
you ask too much                               you do
                                                                                                       
for one whisper like the hint of water splashed on embers
for one storybook of dreams with its message tethered 
to the fading metal moon

the sun  it can  be cruel
now that I gave too much                 too soon                                                                                               
                                                                               
                                                Is this your plan  
                
is this your one    
your great             
your smoky last demand   

or

my intention
my blue-flame doom
  
because
burned across my heart your forgotten message
the language lost in time with the words rewritten
resuscitate the girl she is out of breathing
collapsed under the hope she could not believe in
the soot was in her eyes she could only cry

was this my one great truth

did I give up
                too soon?

                

Tuesday 27 September 2016

Hidden

“So how old are you, anyway?” Michael asked me.  “You look like you’re about 12.”

Stiffening, I replied, “I’ll be 22 this year.”  At his frankly disbelieving look, I dug into my handbag and pulled out my driver’s license.  “Here,” I said, shoving it at him.  Michael took it from me.  “Angela Wolff,” he read out loud, “date of birth November 25th, 1972.”  He handed it back to me.  “Wolff, eh?  That’s appropriate.”

I had to stop myself from demanding an explanation for this bizarre and probably insulting observation.  I was at Jamie’s family home, after all, trying to make nice with his relatives.  I therefore limited myself to asking Michael, “How old are you?”

“I’m 33.  You do know that Jamie is 32, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think you should be playing with kids your own age?”

“How old is your girlfriend?” I returned.  “She doesn’t look 33.  In fact, I wouldn’t think she’s all that much older than I am.”

His eyes narrowing, Michael answered, “She’s 26.”

“Hmmn,” I said, but that was the end of it because Jen bounced over to us.  “Who’s 26?” she demanded.  “Me?  That’s right!  Was he telling everyone's age?  Because Jamie is 32—you already know that, of course—Matt is 31, and Michael is 33.  All three of them, right in a row!”

“That’s interesting,” I told her.  Michael let out a short laugh.  “I’m sure you’re fascinated,” he said.  “But, don’t worry, you got the one with the most money.  Well done.”

“Yes, that was rather clever of me, wasn’t it?” I retorted.  “In fact, if you’ll excuse me, I need to go to Tiffany’s and drape myself in diamonds.”  I then marched into the living room, telling myself that Michael hating me wasn’t a total loss.  At least I would have one less family member to buy a Christmas present for.



A Slow Twisting Place, Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three of A Slow Twisting Place now available to read!  Just click here:

Chapter 23

Click on the same link for Chapters 1-22; they can be found in the Blog Archive.

Thank you!




I Fly in the Clouds


This one last time           come along with me                you run so slow I lost you centuries ago              now is not where you said you would be               leaving me alone and out of breath                    this breakdown in the making            where are you love      where are you sleeping            I am awake I am all aware      that I am here and you are there              you do not belong to me         you do not belong to me

Whose truth will be accepted             as war rages against my memories        I cannot say for certain what I expected          or even what I thought I believed      but I am jumping off the cliff into this pillow of air       while you are a voice warning me from the canyon floor                   because this is where you disappear               and where I wish for something more

For you to send a message please        to shoot me so far and so wide           how do I survive now love     how do I feel alive          when you call to me from an exploding star               when you sing to me from the briny deep                  how am I supposed to hold onto you when I have nothing here I am allowed to keep                    

Because he was a vision in snow       
the carrier of my fears             he infected you with my reality          he melted you with my tears               he held out his hand as I looked for you             he was the last of my projections      this hologram I could not see through      the carrier of your rejection    

So I left you near the valley stream         I left you on the greenest hill              I left you in the hardest rain            I left you standing warm and still              I left you there in front of me           thinking I had been too kind        the guardian of all my dreams         a slow motion horror to unwind         now this torn frame is the only clue  of what I can never find         what does forgiveness have to do with me    when I am the one you left behind                      

Yes you were a picture in a book          nestled between a cranny and a nook             where I could close my eyes and see       but the library locked its doors        and I am prostrate on the floor       you do not belong to me           you do not belong to me


               

The Abduction Myth free download

My new novel, The Abduction Myth, is free to download today on Amazon!  Just follow this link:  

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01KI6XNJU  

Although the link will bring you to the U.S. Amazon, you'll find a handy link on the page to the Amazon for whatever country you happen to be shopping in.  And no Kindle is required!  You can download a free app that will allow you to read the book on your computer, if so required; the link is once again right there on the Amazon page, next to the photo of the book.


May I also humbly request that should you download The Abduction Myth, and should you find anything of value in it, would you please please please write a review.  Even if the review is just one line, such as, "Hey, I really liked it," that's good enough.  Reader reviews are critical to an independent author's success--people won't risk their money on an unreviewed novel, and Amazon won't feature it.  


Finally, you can follow this link to an earlier post that in turn will lead you to the first three chapters of The Abduction Myth, as well as three excerpts: 


http://thedevilsdiaries.blogspot.co.uk/2016/09/the-abduction-myth.html


It's a good book, with an ending that will never leave you.  Download it, read it, love it (I hope), & review it!  Also feel free to tell all of your friends.  Thank you!!!!





After a disastrous breakup Stevie Callaghan, a shy book illustrator, is in desperate need of an apartment.  Against her better judgment she moves above a bookstore owned by Rick Smith, an intimidating, scruffy intellectual beloved by his customers and staff despite his brusque manner.  Stevie is horrified to learn that all of his employees come from a young offender program. 

She soon befriends Rick’s staff, however, and becomes a regular at the bookstore cafe.  Just as she begins to feel settled, she witnesses a late-night fire no one else seems to notice.  She also finds herself haunted by a recurring dream in which she is visited by a talking dragon.  Worse yet, Rick’s newest employee Vince, a disturbed born-again Christian, develops an obsessive interest in her.  Rick, on the other hand, seems to hold Stevie in utter contempt—until he initiates a relationship with her when she least expects it.  To her own surprise Stevie falls in love with him, even though he remains something of a mystery to her.  Stevie’s overbearing mother is instantly suspicious of Rick, but she cannot persuade Stevie to leave him.

Events take a harrowing turn when Vince becomes convinced that Rick is Satan, and embarks on a twisted campaign to “save” Stevie that leaves her life shattered.   After someone close to her is then the victim of a brutal murder, Stevie is forced to confront her mother’s suspicions that Rick is not at all who he claims to be.

Monday 26 September 2016

Drowning



Let me tell you what I know about
my broken heart
this is the rhythm of it falling apart
toss the stones in the river because
we are
we are coming up for air again

What did I even know about
guilt and sin
all of the dreams that
I was dying in
it was a curse it was a blessing it
was utter nothingness
until it skidded and came crashing
home

No telling how the earth will
record this disaster
whistling dixie in the wind
as if I had the answer
           ballet with fractured form
tripped up by vengeful rapture
the hammer flung against
the wall

Dismantled piece by piece into
a million parts
buried back with Santa at
the Christmas tree farm
what is dead is what is real to
the falling apart
we heard the siren but not the
alarm

I wonder how I will know when
the sky becomes my master
when dreams of yesterday stop
mocking me with laughter
tomorrow is today tornadoes
circling my trailer
I was wrong over
and over again

Now I whisper to the wind about
my broken heart
failing in slow motion
not a subtle art
toss the stones in the river because
I am
I am here alone at the end

A Slow Twisting Place, Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two of A Slow Twisting Place is now up and available to read!  Just click here:

Chapter 22

The same link will also bring you to Chapters 1-21, under "Blog Archive."  Happy reading!


Depths

“She’s down!” someone shouted, but Megan wasn’t hurt.  She was just curled up in a ball on the kitchen floor a few feet from where Alturis lay--his dead eyes staring at the Williams-Sonoma Thanksgiving cookbook cover.


Sunday 25 September 2016

To Sleep Once More

Tired but awake again

because wakefulness is waiting for
my answer
I am ready this time
ready to embrace the disbelief
to refuse the hand that
once could pull me to
my feet

Floating into ache once more

with no morning defense
when the sun broke me like
a cudgel to
the head
stole from me any
last moments for
dreaming

Memory waits still and near for me

I am endlessly choosing I am
at last losing what allowed me to
creep through the hole in the
floor

So tired of attempting

            to end this need for sleeping



A Slow Twisting Place, Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One now available to read!  Just follow this link:

Chapter 21

Follow the same link for Chapters 1-20; they'll be listed under the Blog Archive.

Enjoy!


The Day After


Jack showed up on Sunday afternoon, during the Packers game.   He muttered a vague greeting to Jonah, and then dropped onto the couch.  “I was listening to the game on the radio during the drive over,” he said.  “We are so hosed.”

“Yeah.”

“Got any beer?”

“In the fridge.”

Jack went into the kitchen.  When he came back he was carrying a beer in one hand, and the bag of Doritos Jonah had bought yesterday in his other.  He opened the bag and set it on the table, so that it was within easy reaching distance of Jonah’s chair.  “This flavor is pretty good,” Jack said, crunching hard on a sample chip.  “Cool Ranch, huh?  I’ve never tried it before.”

“It’s been out for a while now," Jonah answered, his attention still on the game.

“No kidding?  Guess I’m pretty clueless when it comes to new trends in snack products.”

“There are worse things to be clueless about.”

Jack grunted.  “Yeah, like stats.  My fantasy football team is getting crushed this year.  I just haven’t had time to keep up, you know?”

“My team is pretty hopeless, too.  I’m in last place at work.”

“Your team is always hopeless,” Jack answered, grinning.  “But that reminds me—you wanna go bowling this Saturday night?”

“I thought Kelly didn’t like you to go out on weekend nights.”

“Oh.  Yeah.  Well, she moved out.”

Jonah turned to stare at Jack.  “She did?”

“Yeah.  Yesterday.  She said she was just waiting until Mom died.”  Avoiding Jonah's eyes, Jack grabbed another handful of chips.  “She said I wasn’t ‘emotionally available,’ or some bull shit like that, but I don’t know what she’s talking about.  I was home every single night, just about, and, I mean, I wasn’t going to give up poker night.  It was only once a month, for christ’s sake.”

“Wow.”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you’ll find someone else.  You always do, right?”

“Not this time.   That’s it for me.  I give up.  Three strikes and you’re out.  I know I wasn’t married to Sheila, but close enough.  I’ll never understand women.  They could be locked up in a room and studied for a thousand years by the world’s leading scientists and we still would never understand them.”

“I don’t know," Jonah said. “I don’t think they’re all that different from us.”

"Maybe not,” Jack answered; suddenly he sounded very, very tired.  “But if that’s true, it means we just aren’t marriage material.  You and me, I mean.”  Jack frowned to himself before he took a swig of his beer and pointed at the T.V.  “Look at that moron,” he said.  “A loss of two yards, when there was a huge hole right up the middle.  The Heisman curse strikes again.”

Saturday 24 September 2016

Eternity


For you I know of fires
around my eyes they burn
they bring me here with
crooked fingers

Friday 23 September 2016

Make-believe



We are one day past forever
so let me tell you a
story
full of hope and
recrimination

and yet somehow                   
somehow

            hello hello                    fire in the hole

I wonder
but I cannot get past the bluster
the suggestion dripping down my throat

We tried but
            this is not what I
kiss me good night
            as forgiveness winds around my
could we just
            a lie must never be hunted
when the game is already dead to me

I could tell you a story
full of tomorrows and redemption
but who would we be
kidding
acceptance is the poison

In this lexicon of sorrow
I am too tired to speak for myself
if you saw miracles spring from darkness
I saw only memory
swathed in charcoal dusty
dream